Mommy FAIL

Paging Michael Westen

Those who know me have always known that I just love television. I love the escape, the adventure, the stories… and it gets me away from the day-to-day activities of raising triplets. And is especially vital when we have an off day.

One of my favorite shows is USA Network’s Burn Notice…because, well, Jeffrey Donovan (Michael Westen) is nice to look at (although I often end up dreaming about Bruce Campbell [Sam Axe]), Gabrielle Anwar (Fiona Glenanne) kicks arse, and who doesn’t love Sharon Gless (Maddie Westen). It’s fun and I get lost in the story every time. It’s well written and it’s darkly funny.

So then why is it the top show I watch, which often involves breaking into things, did NOTHING for me when faced with opening the home safe today.


Important Papers!

Last night I totally forgot that I would need the birth certificates for kindergarten registration. (I also forgot to call my brother to wish him a happy birthday, but things have been a bit hectic as of late.) I remembered the need for the documents last night when I tried to go to bed… and then hemmed and hawed about whether or not to wake up and get the docs at 11 p.m. That may wake Theodore… and I really needed to get to sleep.

I didn’t until midnight. I couldn’t forget about those docs! And then I had a dream about hairy feet (ok, discuss!).

Mornings Don’t Become Me

Really, they don’t. I’m usually too busy getting everyone where they need to go and I’m in drill seargant mode. Get changed. Get medicine. Finish medicine. What do you want for breakfast? If you don’t answer, I’m making pancakes! Olena, put some socks on. Olena, put some socks on your feet. Where at the socks? etc.

What made me think I could get the papers?

Of course, Theo slept in this morning. I figured I’d go in and get the papers, and wake him up at the same time. Theo, once he is asleep, will not wake for much. He actually got up before I could get the safe open.

F4&*$ng safe I mumbled.

Rolling Along

So with Theo on his way, I tried again. Fail. FAIL! Stoopid safe! Where is that C-4? Or maybe I should start by having a Mojito?! (see BURN NOTICE for info)

Again repeatedly I spewed words no mom should utter. Grandma Millie would be mortified.

With Rob being away I sent him an email…and then called him. I was desperate!!

He finally emailed me back with a tip

I still couldn’t get it open.

Frustrated, and overwhelmed, and nervous because I really didn’t want to go back to kindergarten registration because I didn’t have the one piece of info they needed, I did what any mom would do: I sounded the sister signal.

“Girls, come quick. Mommy needs your help!”

Super Girlies to the Rescue!

I could actually hear them running up the stairs, pushing each other out-of-the-way, to get into the office first. “Quick, mom needs help,” I heard Olena say.

Can you feel the drama?

We all kneeled by the safe…mom, Gretchen and Olena, as if lining up for morning prayer. With daddy’s emailed instructions, I asked the girls to hold something for me.

I turned away for a quick second, I hear POP!

The safe was unlocked by 4-year-old hands.

“Oh mom, look, we did it,” Gretchen said.

Yup. Yes you did. Mommy needs to go watch some Burn Notice now. Michael Westen, if you need some super safe crackin’ 4 year olds, I have two for you.


No cliffhanger on this episode. The girls freed the birth certificates. I now know how to open the safe thanks to them (why can’t it be as easy as turning the key?). And all is well. The triplets will be screened in May for the coming 2012 school year. My registration papers were filled out successfully. I had all the needed documents. Go me!

I was very proud thinking of how far those kiddos have come. A world of opportunities will be opening for them and I am excited as they begin this important journey. Kindergarten? Already?! Yes, bring it on.


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