Somethings You Never Forget
The sun streaming into the window at work triggered the memory…how could I forget that five years ago, the triplets decided to try to make an extremely early entrance. MaryAnn is convinced it was just so they can make it for Alex’s birthday party…but…I think she was just trying to lighten the load then.
I was already out of work for a month when I went in for what was a routine visit to my OB’s office. I was still on the every-two-week schedule, and was hoping to stay that way, until I got closer to the 30th week mark, when visits would happen every week.
I was just shy of my 25th week. The appointment went well and I was sent home.
Next thing I knew the OB called (my regular OB was not in the office and did not do the exam, but he was the one that made the call)… We want to admit you to Crouse. Pack a bag. You are dilated.
What?! I barely even felt movement or anything else?! How could this be?
Apparently I was going into early labor and they admitted me to strict bed rest only allowing me to use the, ahem, the loo. Otherwise it was bed and that’s it.
I called Rob, of course. I called Susan. I probably called Maire too… I was crazy and packed a bag as if they would send me home.
Once I got a hold of myself, after all I knew I’d go early, I just remember trying to relax. SO much easier to say then do… that whole relaxing thing. The NOT stressing. The panic.
These kids are not ready.
I am not ready.
This is a disaster!
The one solace I had was that the sun was shining that day. The sun was so warm and bright as it streamed through the passenger window in the Honda CRV I just tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and felt the warmth on my skin.
Everything is going to be all right, right?
Sitting in the sun was the last pleasant memory from that day. The rest of the day played out like some bizarre Twin Peaks episode with doctors and specialists entering my room and I never saw them exit (it was the drugs), the grim statistics delivered by Neonatal doctors in full scrubs about how babies born at 25 weeks have an 80 percent chance of survival (or something like that…they sounded like the teachers do in the Peanuts cartoons!), the steroid shots that bruised my backside and made sitting let alone laying down impossible but helped the babies lungs mature… the lack of food… the Ambien that DIDN’T WORK… I wasn’t supposed to be there.
But that was five years ago.
And we have ALL come so far.
It’s no wonder why we celebrate birthdays (and half birthdays) the way we do in this house. If I could I would celebrate March 13, bed rest day, until what should have been our due date, June 20! How truly lucky and blessed we are to be this family of five! More importantly is how determined Gretchen, Theodore and Olena are to BE HERE in the first place. I am thankful for that.