I have always loved summer: long days, sunshine, running, playing outside, the warmth of the sun (even with the humidity I embrace it), swimming, sunburns… plus my birthday!!! Central New York just seems to come alive!
But this time of year has become a difficult time of year for me. Bittersweet actually.
This time of year reminds me of the struggle we endured to make our family a reality.
This time of year was when we found out my dad had cancer. Something he would succumb to by November.
This time of year was when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she beat it).
This time of year means less light, longer nights, and cooler temperatures.
This time of year makes it difficult to entertain Theodore. When he gets antsy in summer, we go outside. Soon we will be going outside only on his schedule… which can be best described as “the optimum temperature, with no cold fronts anywhere close, with no rain or snow, with no heavy jackets or clumsy mittens, from 10 a.m. to noon or at 15 minute intervals provided the sun is out and it’s not windy.”
The Boss doesn’t do windy.
But, as with all things, I’m working on this. There are several reasons to welcome the season(s) ahead. There’s no reason I should fear any changes but, sometimes, that sneaky anxiety makes an appearance. Anxiety. I can be looking at the sky, enjoying the smell of the concord grapes in the air, feeling the change that is just around the corner — and I get a little teary-eyed. I can’t help it.
Everything changes — and while all these things happened in fall, a lot of great things happen too.
Everything changes — and I’m working on feeling better about this time of year.
But if you see me being a little melancholy… now you know why.