It’s picture sharing time. I shared my gorgeous triplets’ third grade photos today on social media because, duh, that’s what moms do.
In case you missed it, here it is again: Gretchen, Theo (The Boss) and Olena.
These kiddos are all unique and all have had their share of struggles. I would move mountains for these three. I hope they know that.
And then I got to really looking at these photos. Really studying them.
Where are the baby cheeks? The big smiles? The missing teeth and crazy sticky-uppy hair (Theo still sports some from time to time.)
And lost in thought an unexpected visitor came along.
Freeking Comparison. Comparison, who invited you? How dare you sneak up on me like this? You are NOT fair.
When we began our journey to become parents, comparison was everywhere. Comparison says “You should be doing XYZ on this date and your body should be doing XYZ in order to make this happen.”
And then, sneakily, comparison shows us that “other people have no problems at all getting pregnant. You do.”
(NOTE: I know this is not true but when you struggle you think everyone else has it easy.)
Comparison is a companion throughout pregnancy. Whole websites and magazines are built on it! Think about it. You can go online and find out just how big your baby should be at week 23! You can see the average gestation period for a mom of twins (no offense to twin moms but, yeah, consider me jealous).
Comparison also accompanies you during bed rest, delivery, NICU stay, and the first few years of your preemie’s life or, in this case, lives.
And, if you have a child with special needs, well — there is comparison… ready to pick away at that picture, that smile, that day’s achievement because comparison says what your son is doing now is what he should have been doing years ago.
Screw you comparison.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Comparison is good for many things! But when you have preemies those milestone charts end up being glaring comparison charts that like to stick it to you for the Nth time because your child isn’t sitting up, rolling over, or eating solid foods.
And today after affixing my kiddos newest school pictures on the wall I could feel comparison breathing down my neck.
But today I said NO. Not today.
You are not welcome. You are not going to rob me of today. Or tomorrow, either.
I know your game.
I’m just not buying it anymore.
Until next time…