He was joking. He was. But I wasn’t in the mood.
I haven’t been in the mood for a while. You see, my poor Theo, who had suffered from a ridiculous five-week stomach ailment, then a week-long bout of tonsillitis, had been an enormous handful since Thanksgiving.
Yes, that is correct. He’s been sick or ill or just not himself since November!
And while we have had very good days and some nice progress, we have had one heck of a time at night with code-red style meltdowns that brought with it bursts of self harm. This resulted in a change in meds (which we are still trying to perfect).
Well, today didn’t start off well as a lake effect storm dumped snow and bitter cold on the region. What should have been a typical day at school started off as a delay (two-hour delay = nightmare), then it was canceled.
Right off the bat, the Boss’s schedule was off which meant he, too, was going to be off.
He managed to have an up and down day but by the time I inched my way from Oneida to Canastota along route 5 to collect my little cherubs, my son had it.
Full on meltdown.
Meltdown to the point where his aide and I had to put his boots on his feet not once or twice, but three times.
The girls then argued on the way home whether or not Theo had been like that the whole day.
It just piled on my back. I could feel it. And I KNOW today had the markings for an epic meltdown day. He’s been off schedule since waking up. I know all of these things. But the tears began to fall.
By the time I finally made it home, I had to shovel the driveway, the opening, around the van, etc.
At the same time Miss Lisa, our respite aide, pulled on up and helped us along. But what got me was our wonderful UPS driver who kiddingly asked “Is there anything you don’t do?”
Wind whipping in my face, snow swirling around, tears streaming down my face…
He repeated his question, I waved him on, and he asked a third time.
By then, I dropped my cape.
I began to sob and I didn’t hide it.
He got out of his truck. He gave me a hug. And, sounding very much like my mother would have, he said “whatever it is, it will be alright. God has a plan for making it so … But if you ever need anything, let me know, you promise me.”
I will. I promise.
And he saw me in, and made sure we were all ok.
Afterward, for the most part, Theo settled down… and even seemed upset because I was upset.
The girls pitched in, before resuming sibling rivalries, and dad eventually came home to find I had been crying and in tears.
But it will be okay. It’s a blip, considering. And tomorrow we will try again. Tomorrow is a good day to start over.
Until next time…